I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
