you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
