The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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