I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
