You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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