Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
