She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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