i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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