At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
