I feel like abortions should bother me more
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
