go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
