youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
