I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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