we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
