Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
