Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize