I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
