he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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