yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
