bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
