Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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