Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
