No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So vagazzling was a success
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize