I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
