the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
