Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
