I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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