What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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