wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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