I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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