We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
