Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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