my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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