How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
