it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
