But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
