I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
