I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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