If i come over, it means nothing
I puked a lego.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My pussy is not your playground.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
