what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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