Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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