Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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