I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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