I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
