I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
