Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
