Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
