Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
