I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
