We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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