meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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