I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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