Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
