direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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