Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
