2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
