Dual....:-)
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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