Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
