i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's shark week go big or go home
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
