There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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