you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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