i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's never too late to be topless.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
